Abstract of item: Pewter mechanical bowl

[frangipani]

Object is a shallow bowl with a heavy bottom, made of pewter. Embossed stylised leaves in the familiar awan larut motif are worked into the bottom of the bowl, circling two small quartz cabochons set at the centre. The surface shows some oxidisation and a substantial amount of scratches and acid damage.

Measurements:
Weight: 517g
Diameter: 18cm
Height: 5cm
Origin: Unknown, possibly the northern east coast of Peninsular Malaysia

Close examination of the object reveals a minute seam along the rim of the bowl and two pan-headed bolts screwed into the base of the bowl. Digital radiography tests discovered a compact, circular clockwork-like mechanism under the bottom of the bowl, sandwiched in a hollow space between the two layers of pewter.

The function of the bowl was discovered by accident six months before the date of entry of this abstract. Liquid poured into the bowl activates the machinery, culminating in the arrival of all Felis silvestris catus (also known as housecats) within a 1km radius.

The exact workings of the bowl are as yet unknown.

Comments

[frangipani]

What kind of effing civilisation creates a MECHANICAL BOWL that does nothing but ATTRACT CATS? What. The. Ever-lasting. Hell?

I. I don't even know how to categorise this.

[horusporus]

is it just any liquid??? weird.

[nyarlathotep]

Ooooh! You have that bottle of bourbon?

Let's TEST THIS SUCKA OUT.

[horusporus]

*mourns*

well i suppose it is for Science(!)....

[scaramouche]

Either: in tribute, or as a lure for (possibly nefarious) purposes.

[nyarlathotep]

Yeah, now all we need to find is a bottle of auto-spay.

[nyarlathotep]

Done it for you. It's a novel item, ergo: novelty.

[frangipani]

This artifact does induce one to think about the possible existence of analogues of the Shopping Channel.

...

Is there any more of the bourbon left?

[nyarlathotep]

...

Yeah, I think it's time to open a new bottle.

[jolantru]

Fascinating...

goes back to the dark recesses of the Stores